


Graceless

by nana_banana



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Annoyed Haga, Blindshipping, Clueless Yuugi, Crack, Humor, Language, M/M, Oneshot, Passive-Aggressive Atemu, Puzzleshipping, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3881716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nana_banana/pseuds/nana_banana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuugi has a bad date and his best friend helps him out.<br/>Said best friend insists on being in love with Yuugi, but pfft, that can't be right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Graceless

**Author's Note:**

> Graceless is a song by The National (it's one of my favorites. You should give it a listen if you want.)  
> It wasn't the inspiration for the fic, but I kept listening to it as I wrote it.  
> This is a crack-fic, as in, it's kind of ridiculous. I just wanted some exasperatingly-clueless Yuugi and a passive-aggressive Atemu. I bet I failed at both. Enjoy my pointless little fic?

The sound of clinking plates, cutlery, and glasses effused the restaurant. Soft murmurs of various customers filled in the empty spots of the din. Yuugi Mutou was seated in a table for two by the window, more focused on the lemon pepper chicken on his plate than the man before him.

The man had stunning blue eyes that were unfortunately lessened by the large gold, wire-rimmed glasses overtaking his face. Said face was pinched in what seemed to be a permanent sneer, though the man's conversation was excited. His turquoise hair had been subjected to a horrible bowl-cut style.

Yuugi would have been able to get past all that if only the man weren't trying to bore him into an early grave. He fidgeted in his chair, trying, in vain, to listen to the frighteningly dull man in front of him.

“And after the chrysalis forms...” the man was saying, but Yuugi had not the vaguest idea of what he was talking about. He had stopped listening before he had even finished his salad. He sighed silently and as he looked to his delicious food, he found that he was not savoring it in the least. Even the joy of such a scrumptious meal was completely diminished by the terrible date.

Taking his last bite of chicken, Yuugi reached up and tugged at at his golden bangs insistently. He couldn't take much more of this. There was absolutely no way that he was going last through dessert. After several more seconds, he did it again. And when nothing happened, he made to tug again.

His phone vibrated on the table and Yuugi thanked the gods above.

His date broke off abruptly and looked at Yuugi's phone with annoyance. He was obviously not pleased with the interruption, but Yuugi could not muster up even an ounce of a fuck to give. He forced an apologetic smile and picked up his phone.

“Sorry,” he said, “I need to take this.”

Before his date could object, Yuugi answered the phone.

“Hello?” he said.

“Was that the signal or are you just being twitchy?” came the utterly blase baritone from the other end of the line. Yuugi suppressed an eye roll and faked concern.

“What's wrong, grandpa?” he asked as his date tapped his digits on the table, watching him with mild irritation.

“You know, it never stops being weird when you call me that,” said the voice, laced with a tinge of amusement. Yuugi would have laughed if he weren't busy trying to get the hell out of there.

 _“O_ _h_ _,_ are you okay?” he asked, continuing his faux concern for someone who was definitely not on the other end of the line.

“Oh yeah,” said the voice sarcastically, “I'm having loads of fun sitting here alone, watching you like some kind of creeper. The couple at the next table thinks I'm stalking you – _yeah, that's right! I can hear you two whispering!”_

Yuugi had to fight to keep a straight face and battled the urge to turn around in his seat to look in the direction he knew the owner of the voice to be in.

“Well, is it serious?” he asked, knowing he needed to end the conversation quickly before he lost it and started laughing. He could not give himself away. In front of him, his date was pursing his lips and crossing his arms impatiently. Yuugi thought he could fuck right off for all he cared.

“You really need to find a better fail-safe,” sighed the man on the phone, “I could be at home, watching crappy anime and stuffing my face with ding dongs. Can we go home now?”

“Okay,” Yuugi said more to the man on the line than to his imaginary grandfather, “don't worry. I'm on my way home, grandpa.” He paused for a moment and took a deep breath before he said, “...I love you.”

“...I love you too,” the voice said quietly and Yuugi's heart skipped a beat.

Yuugi faltered slightly before abruptly hanging up. He really detested when the man did that. It never failed to make him flustered. He looked to his date who now wore an extremely sour expression on his face and Yuugi forced himself not to grimace.

“I'm so sorry,” he said gently, “My grandfather needs me.” Yuugi tucked his phone away and pulled out his wallet. He laid his half of the bill on the table and stood up. “It's been fun –”

“So you're just going to leave me here? What's so important?” the man demanded.

Yuugi stiffened at the man's tone, but continued to smile politely. He did not want to cause a scene. His main priority was getting the hell out of there _without_ his date.

“My grandfather needs me. Excuse me.”

Yuugi quickly left the table and headed outside. He took a large breath once he was in the fresh night air and sighed. He looked around the parking lot and spotted a familiar red vehicle. He approached it and waited patiently beside it. The night was slightly humid, but pleasantly warm on his skin. The restaurant had been too cold for his taste. He made a mental note to not go back there without a sweater.

Not even two minutes later, he was joined by a taller, dark-skinned man with piercing wine-colored eyes. The man paused at his side and gave him a raised eyebrow in inquiry.

“Never again,” he told the man with a pout, “I'm so done with this. Dating obviously isn't for me.”

The man chuckled and shook his head before unlocking the sports-car with the press of a button and opening the door for Yuugi.

“That bad, huh?” he asked Yuugi with a kind smile.

“Worse!” Yuugi grouched as he climbed in.

The man closed the door with a bark of laughter and rounded the vehicle to slide into the driver's seat.

“You can always just marry me and be done with all this nonsense,” the man chortled as he switched on the vehicle and glanced into his side mirrors. He pulled out of the parking space and sped out of the lot.

“You're not funny, Atemu,” Yuugi said tiredly. This was not the first time he had heard this same line from his friend. In fact, he had heard it ever since they moved in together three years ago. Before then even. There had even been a ring at some point. Yuugi was honestly tired of hearing it. The joke had long lost its humor. Not that it had ever been particularly funny in the first place.

Atemu only looked at him with his usual patient smile. It infuriated Yuugi, to be perfectly honest. The man was too passive-aggressive for Yuugi to deal with. He wished the man were more assertive and less of a doormat.

“What have you got to lose? I'm perfect,” Atemu said and, for the first time ever, Yuugi detected a hint of insistence in his voice. He was a little startled by it, but he easily brushed it off.

“Ha, ha,” he laughed sardonically, “can you stop now? I can't handle your jokes tonight. That guy really drained me.” Yuugi turned his gaze to the window and watched the darkness outside, wishing he was already home in his pajamas with a pint of Dutch chocolate ice cream in hand … and perhaps some of Atemu's ding dongs.

“Why do you always assume I'm joking?” the man asked, though it sounded more like Atemu was speaking to himself. Yuugi looked over to him anyway to respond.

“Atemu –”

“Alright. I'll stop,” his friend finally said, like Yuugi had expected him to do much sooner. He felt a little thrown by Atemu's behavior.

Atemu was quiet then and Yuugi took the silence as a chance to recollect himself. He began to think of pleasant things, like the scent of vanilla and vast expanses of desert for miles in every direction. Slowly, Yuugi washed himself of the bad date and relaxed into the seat. Beside him, Atemu was still silent.

“Why do you do it?” Yuugi could not help but ask. He knew he was inviting trouble, but he needed to know. He needed the real reason behind all of Atemu's teasing.

“Hm?”

“The comments,” Yuugi clarified, “Proposing to me. Telling me you love me. Asking me to elope with you. Telling me how perfect we are together. Why do you do it?”

“...do you want the truth or do you want me to lie to you?” Atemu was careful with his words and Yuugi wondered what Atemu was really hiding.

“The truth,” he stated.

“We're great together and you should marry me –”

“Atemu,” Yuugi breathed, exasperated.

“– we'll live beach-side and have a dog. I'll make you breakfast in bed and make love to you every night –”

“Atemu, stop it!” Yuugi snapped, “Be serious for once in your life!”

Atemu was silent again. Yuugi glared at him, but Atemu kept his unwavering eyes on the road. Yuugi gave a defeated sigh and covered his face with his hands.

“I won't ask you to do this again, alright? I'll figure out another way to bail from bad dates. You won't have to tag along anymore … okay?”

Atemu didn't answer. Yuugi removed his hands from his face.

“...isn't that what you wanted?” he asked him. That had to be why Atemu continued to play such pranks on him.

Atemu remained quiet.

“Why aren't you answering me?” Yuugi was starting to feel very frustrated with his old friend.

“Everything I say only pisses you off,” Atemu said levelly, “I've decided not to talk anymore.”

“God, Atemu,” Yuugi groaned and rolled his eyes, “Don't be like that. I just can't handle your jokes tonight.”

“Again, I ask you, why do you keep assuming that I'm joking?” Atemu said and Yuugi narrowed his eyes at him. Atemu was being unusually feisty tonight.

“Really, Atemu, you're taking it too far tonight –”

Suddenly, the car served off the road to a sharp stop and Yuugi broke off with a gasp of alarm. Beside him, Atemu threw the car into park and turned to face him, his expression fierce and Yuugi recoiled, heart hammering in his chest. He braced himself against the dashboard and his seat, staring at Atemu with alarm.

“What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not fucking with you?” Atemu asked him, visibly frustrated.

Yuugi blinked at him. He was so very confused and shocked. His demure friend had done a complete 180 degree personality change. The last time he had seen Atemu like that, the man had knocked someone the fuck out for trying to take advantage of a very drunk Yuugi. He had given the guy a concussion too. Yuugi was a little scared to be on the receiving end of Atemu's severe attitude.

“Atemu, what –”

“No. Listen to me,” Atemu said and Yuugi snapped his mouth shut with a click. While he did not think that Atemu would ever hurt him, he also did not understand what the fuck was going on. “What do I have to do to get you to believe me? Do I have to confess? Do I have to buy you a ring? Do I have to buy you a house? Oh, wait – I already did those things! So tell me, Yuugi, what the fuck do I have to do to finally get you to understand that I'm desperately in love with you and have been since high school? What do I have to do for you to take me seriously? I've done _everything_ and you _still_ refuse to believe that I'm interested.

“You _continue_ to belittle my feelings for you, and I gotta say, Yuugi, it fucking hurts like you're stabbing me in the fucking heart every fucking time! It's been five years. _Today._ Five years of you ignoring my feelings. At least fucking tell me once and for all that you don't feel something for me and I'll stop. I'll never bring it up again. I'll bury my feelings for you. For you, I'll rip them right out and never bother with them again. But, tell me, please tell me right now that you don't feel anything for me.”

Atemu stared at Yuugi then, waiting, chest heaving with emotion, eyes pleading.

Dumbstruck, Yuugi felt nervous laughter build in his throat. He really did not know how to react to such a speech. Atemu had to be joking … no?

“You can't be serious … you're kidding, right?”

“GODDAMMIT!”

Atemu slammed out of the car and threw the door closed behind him. Yuugi could hear him spewing profanities outside before letting out a loud frustrated yell. And finally, _finally_ _,_ Yuugi realized that Atemu had not been joking. Atemu had never been joking. Yuugi's eyes widened and he sat there, awestruck at the realization that Atemu was truly and irreversibly in love with him and had been for _five years._

Atemu had indeed confessed in high school, only for Yuugi to berate him for cruel jokes. With Atemu's passive nature, he'd let Yuugi believe what he wanted. Although, Atemu had continued to try to gain his attention with Yuugi repeatedly shutting him down until Yuugi had started going on dates with other people. Then, Atemu had grown bolder and even made a long list of reasons why they were perfect together and had indeed bought him an engagement ring.

Yuugi had responded by becoming angry that Atemu had spent so much money for a joke.

Right after high school, Atemu had used part of his trust fund to purchase a house that Yuugi had shown great interest in one morning when they were running together. He had made Yuugi inspect it and when Yuugi had said that he would like to live in it someday, Atemu had gotten the number for the realtor. After buying it, he had asked Yuugi to move in with him.

Yuugi had been understandably upset when Atemu had told him what he had done. But Yuugi had accepted, much to Atemu's delight, but only because Atemu had convinced him that living together would make it much easier on Yuugi to afford college since he wouldn't be paying rent.

Atemu had continued on, vying for his attention and affections and Yuugi had completely stomped all over Atemu's heart every time.

He had refused to believe that Atemu was being truthful about his feelings. It had been so much easier to believe that Atemu was an inappropriate best friend that didn't know how to stop with a joke.

Obviously, Yuugi felt like a complete ass. He looked outside to see Atemu leaning against the car and Yuugi knew that the man would not be coming back in anytime soon.

He sighed and exited the car.

Rounding the vehicle, Yuugi discovered Atemu smoking.

“Since when do you smoke?” was the first thing he said. But Atemu did not look at him when he responded.

“Since you moved in,” Atemu replied morosely, “I hid it because I knew you wouldn't like it, but it's my way of dealing with the unrequited love I have for you.”

Yuugi breathed a light sigh of relief. Atemu's fury had vanished and he was back to his normal self. He came to stand beside Atemu and leaned against the car with him.

“You see, it's when you say things so bluntly like that that makes me think you're joking.”

“...and you don't think so anymore?” Atemu asked him carefully and Yuugi scratched at his cheek sheepishly.

“I've been kind of an asshole, haven't I?”

“Yep,” Atemu readily agreed, “A clueless one. Was starting to think that I should take you to a doctor because no one is that fucking blind.” He laughed and Yuugi pouted at him.

“...well,” he said, “in my defense, it was just easier to believe that you were taking a joke too far. To think that you were actually in love with me. Well, it was just _that_ hard to believe.”

“You're an idiot,” Atemu said softly, his words filled with adoration.

“And yet you love me,” Yuugi replied, looking up at Atemu with a smile.

“I do,” Atemu admitted, tossing the cigarette to the ground and grounding it out with his shoe.

“Marry me?” Yuugi asked.

“...finally,” Atemu breathed and pulled Yuugi into a relieved kiss.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really like ending things with kisses. So, tell me, was it nearly as funny as I think I made it out to be? Was it any good?
> 
> Follow me on twitter [@nanadanonini](https://twitter.com/nanadanonini)! I post writing updates, life tidbits, line excerpts, and more! It's also great to let y'all know if I'm delaying a chapter update! You can also interact with me. ♡


End file.
